Sometimes, it’s not how you say it; it’s what you say. There are some things that you should never say to your girlfriend. Now, I’m not advising that you inhibit your freedom of speech or that you walk on eggshells around your spouse. Relationships should be full of communication, loving and fun. However, there are some things that might be mean and cause unnecessary tension. So to avoid that, we’ve compiled a list of things that you should never say to your girlfriend:
“You’re too emotional”
You just stomped all over her feelings. It could be several reasons why she’s acting out the way she is. You can use tactful ways of ascertaining the reason. This should not be said in an argument/disagreement. Anything along the lines of “You’re overreacting” or indicating it’s her time of the month in an argument will make things worse. Try to be considerate of her feelings. Picture your favorite football team just lost the championships and you get emotional, how would you want your woman to console you?
“Gosh, she’s beautiful/hot”
Especially if you’re rarely told your girlfriend that she’s beautiful and you say this often of other females. It’s even worse if you say this while your eyes are locked on that female. In some cases, it might be said innocently but it will impact your spouse negatively. Your spouse will feel at ill ease and question your appreciation of her worth. She might not feel so special to you. Tables turned, how would you feel?
My ex…
If you keep bringing up things about your ex-girlfriend, it could indicate that you haven’t moved on. Relationship author and speaker Jenna McCarthy states that it will feel insulting if you speak about your ex-girlfriend especially if you’re comparing/praising your past girlfriend. Are you in a relationship with the present woman in your life or the ghost of your ex?
Anything that refers to her body negatively
You might think it’s constructive criticism but it might come off to your spouse that you really don’t like her body. This might fester in her mind and be particularly toxic to the relationship. She might not feel as sexy and begin to feel self-conscious in bed. Research has shown that majority of women dislike their bodies. You’re just adding fuel to fire when you speak about her body in a not so nice way. Find ways that show care/concern for your partner. If you realize she’s overweight, don’t say “You’re fat”, try instead “let’s change our diet or go to the gym together”. Your words should demonstrate genuine care and not just criticize.
“Ok”, “Hmm”, “Fine” etc..
She’s been talking for several minutes and expects your full-fledged opinion or you’re having a disagreement and she pauses for your response, you uttering a monosyllable could mean to her: A. You’re not listening or B. You don’t care. This will worsen the situation.
“You’re a *insult*”
This is a no-no. This will tick her off even after the argument has ended. When you’re having a disagreement, do not aim to wound. Do not prey on your partner’s insecurities. One research categorizes insulting your spouse in an argument as a destructive approach. Do you want to destroy this relationship?
Disrespecting her family
Any statement that shows imprudence for the people she loves most is something that shouldn’t be said. Many females are super close to their families. Being in a relationship with her means showing respect for her family even if you don’t like them.
“You’re an *embarrassing statement*”
You’re up and about with your friends and suddenly you say something that humiliates her though it seems innocuous to you. You’ll probably never knew it hurt her until you have an argument. Be mindful of signs that she’s not pleased with what you say. Be careful what you say in front of your friends. It might be a private matter that she doesn’t want you to share. Maybe, you could even mention it beforehand for her approval.
“That dress just doesn’t flatter you”
Another innocent statement that bites. Scenario: It’s date night and she spent the whole day getting ready for this night. She expects compliments, not the opposite.
“You have too much make-up on”
She made up herself for you. This is a territory that most men do not understand. Should you really have an issue with her make-up, say it in a way that speaks to her being beautiful naturally.
“Are you finished now?”
You’re having a dispute and it might seem she’s talking for minutes on end. She’s talking because she has something to say that’s important to her. Don’t cut her short. Don’t come off as rude. Find ways to interject that promote a healthy conversation.
Saying nothing at all
She just poured her heart out to you and all you give her is dead air. While it might be that you just don’t know what to say, it might come off to her that you don’t care enough to share your thoughts.
No one is perfect and we all say things that hurt even without meaning to hurt the person. However, if we try to be more aware of our partner’s reactions, we’ll know what not to say in a given situation. If your relationship is good then being aware of this will make it better. At the end of it all, say and do things that will show your spouse that you appreciate, care, respect and love her. Don’t be afraid to sincerely apologize and you can work together on communication so that you can both understand what to say and not to say to each other.
